Biographies and memoirs can be extremely difficult to write.

It takes a huge amount of storytelling and personalization. Memoirs require you to be vulnerable. If you’re writing a family story, as I have, you need to be willing to expose some of the not-so-flattering stuff. You also have to be willing to dig deep and find the gold. I’ve spent years doing that, and in the process, I’ve discovered so many interesting things that have surprised me.

I’ve been a sponge, absorbing every bit of advice and knowledge I can get, determined to write an un-put-downable epic story. It hasn’t been easy but I’ve learned so much. Telling other’s stories, as well as our own is very rewarding. If you’re just beginning your project, here are 6 things I’ve learned that I hope will help you too:

1. Don’t Write The Story In Chronological Order

I’m in no way suggesting that you consistently jump back and forth along the timeline of your person’s life until your reader is totally confused. However, if your entire story flows from the beginning of the person’s life to the end, it will be ho-hum no matter how interesting the person is. You have to tell their story in a way that’s engaging, suspenseful and will keep the reader intrigued.

One way to accomplish this is by using flashbacks. Go back in time to a pivotal event. Let’s say, something traumatic or wonderful happened in the person’s childhood. Tell us about that later in the story when the person is making a decision based on that childhood experience. Another technique is to flash forward by giving readers a glimpse of an important future event. Just keep in mind that when you do this, keep the narrative brief. If you leave your current storyline behind for too long, the reader will feel like they’ve missed something. Make it a short, sneak peek. Then you can write about it in more detail when the storyline actually gets to that part. Or not. Either way, you’ve included something that is relevant and advances the story in a way that will entice your reader.

2. Establish Context For Every Phase Of The Story

During the various seasons of your person’s life, explain what’s happening in the world. Where is the country politically and culturally? What’s going on with your person’s life on the job, at school, in the community, and in regard to family members and friends? It’s always helpful to understand the current environment and the type of relationships your person has with those around him or her because those things speak to intent, and the reader will be able to see the bigger picture of your person’s life.

Just be sure not to add too much background information at once. This “info-dumping” will distract your reader and it can be redundant and confusing. Break up the information and include it where it’s most necessary.

3. Get To Know The Person You’re Writing About Really Well

If your person is still living, get into their head and find out what moves them. Understand their experiences, fears, and motivations. Learn how to become an expert interviewer and listen intuitively to hear what is unspoken. Don’t just interview the person you’re writing about. Talk to their spouse, friends, family members, neighbors, classmates, and professional associates — anyone who can give you insight into the person’s thought process. If the person you’re writing about is deceased, use the same aforementioned interviewing techniques for those who knew that person and do additional research to find written articles, books, speeches, and anything else that pertains to your subject and what was important to them.

4. Don’t Assume The Reader Understands The Person You’re Writing About

Now, that you’ve done Tip #3 and you know your person well, don’t assume the reader does too. You may have to expand certain parts of your story even if you are very familiar with them. So, in this case, get inside the head of your readers. You don’t want someone to get to the end of your book and be left with a ton of questions.

5. Write About The Person’s Weaknesses and Mistakes

My narrative is a coming-of-age story about my father, and I’ve included stories about my mother and my grandparents. I’ve struggled with telling the unfavorable stuff because it’s not easy airing my family’s dirty laundry. However. I realized if I only wrote about the good stuff and successes, the story would fail to inspire and fully inform the reader. Everyone has flaws, vulnerabilities, and we all make mistakes. We want to know how people deal with disappointment and overcome adversity. That’s what allows the reader to connect with the person they’re learning about.

6. Read Fiction

Everyone who has written a book will tell you the most important thing you can do as a writer is to read, read, read. You’re writing a biography, so yes, read other biographies and memoirs but you should also read books outside of that genre. I can’t tell you how much I’ve learned from reading fiction titles, including young adult books. I’ve discovered new and creative techniques for structuring sentences, using dialogue, and how to apply skillful wording that moves the flow of my story forward. When we read, consciously and unconsciously, our minds absorb the author’s writing style. We can then add an original spin to develop our own amazing voice. So many times I’ve rewritten something in a way that was more compelling based on a writing style I’ve seen in another book. I’m still learning but I do know, the more I read, the better I write.

One last thing. Biographies and memoirs are super important. They allow us to see the world through the eyes of someone else. That leads to more understanding and compassion — two things that are sorely lacking in today’s society. You’re doing good work and it’s not supposed to be easy. I just read somewhere that if writing isn’t hard for you, then you’re not a real writer.

If you’re serious about writing, there will be days when you want to throw your hands up in the air and say forget it. You’re allowed to do that from time to time (or every single day), as long as you just keep writing.